Every once in a while you get news that takes the wind out of you. My brother and I grew up in a close knit neighborhood on acre lots..... Everyone had a cow, a horse, a gaggle of kids....... Kids could run up and down each street and everyone knew the neighbors. We were the neighbors with the stay at home grandma, fort type playhouse, and wrinkly dogs (shar peis). On our street we had a family with four kids with two working parents (pharmacists), they were the family with baseball practice in the back, awesome homemade tacos, homework help.
The next street over on Villa another family with four kids (who are these crazy people with so many kids right), Mrs.G was a stay at home mom, and Mr.G was this magical scientist/explorer that worked from home. He had designed his house around an indoor pool, he designed his home around faith. When you walked into their home the clean glass surrounding the pool was a sight to see. Certainly these people must be super rich or vain? Quite the opposite. Some of my fondest memories were hanging out at their house with their daughter Laura who was my age. Our friends in the neighborhood would come over to swim in the middle of winter. We would swim and point out the stars and moon through the glass openings, he would point out constellations. There was always kids or an adult at their house, so I dont ever recall being turned away. Around the perimeter of their house was a full flower bed that Mr.G had planned and he tended them religiously. The man had quite the tan from all the hours playing outside with his kids and tending the rose bushes. It all sounds a bit fantasy I suppose, a bit ideal....... But it was a great neighborhood to grow up in. Mr.G was the most patient man I can recall meeting. I only can say he got frustrated with silver fish and pool covers, two things that would spoil an indoor swim. Every summer he would take me with the family to bible camp. I can recall the 3rd or 4th year he had this belly laugh when he said "hey they didnt charge me for you this year since you attended church with us so many times they added you to our family rate". He was happy I had attended church so many times, not that he had saved money. We prayed before meals in his house, ate everything on your plate, didnt talk back, and waited patiently on the couch until your friend was done with organ practice. We all grew up and moved away, all forming our own identities. Last I saw Mr.G I was in my late teens. One day I heard some awful news. Mr.G had been helping at a baseball game and suffered an injury when retrieving a pop fly. He was paralyzed from his fall. After I heard the news I had visited our neighborhood a handful of times, but my own sorrow for him was too much for me to knock on the door. I very much wish I had. I suppose I was leveled by the thought of him not being able to tend his own roses, or look into his microscope, go for a long hike, or catch a baseball. I think something like that could crush the spirit of any adventurous person. But, I thought, if anyone could do it it would be Mr.G. In the book "Love Does" by Goff it talks about people that "ooze Jesus" and who don't have to convert you. I cant say I ever spoke of religion in his house, it just was in the brick and mortar. It was in every tile, every rosebush, every meal, and every belly laugh. It was in every made bed, folded laundry, organized routine. It was in the peanut butter and banana sandwiches he loved. He oozed Jesus. A decade has passed since that news and I have moved across country with my own five. None of his children have a facebook or email so I did lose touch with them.... I always thought it a shame that when I drove by Villa street I didnt see the friendly gardener waving at cars going by..... Last night my mom called to tell me Mr.G died suddenly while on vacation. They think possible heart attack or brain aneurysm. Last I heard he was still paralyzed, although I had secretly hoped he just woke up one day completely healed. I am saddened that a person who would not want any pity probably lost out on catching up with a few of his extra kids due to our own lack of ability to address such an issue, our lack of maturity. I suppose I was afraid I would shed a tear and hurt his feelings.
I spent alot of time not only in their lovely house, but in their home, in the fabric of a family. Especially around the time my father was sick with cancer. I know most of my 4th-6th grade years were a blur of playdates to keep me occupied from the illness in our own home. I can recall meals from Mrs.G arriving as well, even with a little baby at home, she made time. I am saddened I am across the country on the day many will mourn his passing. I am saddened I never made the time to let him know how well I had turned out. I am certain, without a doubt, where he is at this very moment. He is gathered with his Brethren, gardening shorts on, the sun on his back, hands deep in soil. Waving and hugging those who have greeted him on the other side. John denver or NPR on the radio, and a lunch sack with PB and banana sandwiches for when he gets hungry...... There are very few things in this world I am 100% certain about, but that for sure is one of them.
May the essence of his memory wrap his family at this time, may the thought of him totally free from any form of restraint bring them joy..... May they know that his presence in my life was nothing but a positive memory......May they know he was an end to an era....
My love and wishes,
Morgan Bethell (Wehner)
