Thursday, October 3, 2013

Finding him, finding them

When you are young (20 young), and your only real boyfriend has left you, you feel like the world has collapsed. Obviously the cosmic forces have done you wrong and the vision of your super duper life (Disney, trips, college) is dashed. It's comical now really. When you are barely 20 your idea of the future is next weekend, what body part to pierce, what cool apartment to rent. Almost a dozen years later I worry about IRA's, college for five kids, property taxes, hurricane warnings. I was always kind of sickly so a mother hen if you will. My friend called as I was studying chemistry to tell me she was at a party by my moms house (I was living back home, boo). I declined to figure out the strand diagram of iron or some other element, "ok. I'm the only girl here, but whatever". This girl is crazy, I'm thinking, all these old guys hanging with a 20 year old, obviously psychopaths. I showed up in pajamas and intended to drag her out. I stayed about 20 minutes, met the group of guys.... Decided it was harmless, and went to leave through the garage. A garage full of old cars and racing motorcycles. "Wow nice car!" I said pretty loud, to no one. "Really?? You like it" a voice came from the end of the drive. A tall/fit man, like a man size man, no high school boy. "Ummm yeah!" I responded. "That's really cool, it's my dads 68 charger RT, you know Dukes of Hazard" (no I don't know since I'm a baby). "You want to drive it?" Tosses the key. "Heck no!". "Ok hop in then". Clearly the murder/rape plot is about to happen, I'm pre law people. "Ummm let me tell my friend". So that was Kevin. Tattooed, emotionally unavailable, super single, and not wanting kids or marriage. "Bingo" the brain said, he's perfect.

Now young girls don't do this! This usually ends horribly. The only reason it didn't fall apart was I'm stubborn as an ox, and smart as a whip. Must predict mans next move to make him think you don't like him tooooo much. It's a dance. 3 years later Kevin proposed on a Ferris wheel on a race weekend. We married (secretly eloped) to Vegas 10/8/05 because I had calculated ( now in my administration program) that if we married before tax end we'd get $7k back in refund, to help pay for our march wedding. Yes, I'm that romantic. The line of envious men is zero deep.

My husband is an attractive guy, who thinks he's average. He's the best dad, that second guesses every class/event we do, or don't do. My husband buries treasure chests in remote places at 11pm, plants fake maps he "stumbles" upon in his history book over breakfast, and spends a day treasure hunting with five kids to make them think they are explorers. I've heard him yell at our children (child) one time, and it was "you never, ever talk to my wife that way".  We've moved 4 houses in 4 years and 3 of the houses he saw after we offered, because he knows the kids need a special lay out, and he trusts my judgement. He forgets weekly routines, every week. We've forgotten a child once or twice. We've got a therapy fund going for that later in life.

I've seen him cry 3 times, the first time I asked about his fathers passing, the time CPS said to return Lilly and Theo (3 months in), and when I told him I was pregnant. He was double the size I was looking to date, double the trouble, double the convincing to marry me, and double at being a husband, father, and supporter of any dream I've ever had. He's double the sarcasm, inappropriate after 2 beers, New Jersey accent by 3. Marriage is this dance that involves ups/downs, routine, emergencies, surprises at every turn.

He's mine, he's taken. And we both lucked out finding them..... Although I still believe some heaven bound spirits set our paths on collision.