People ask me all the time why I got into foster care…….. 2 moments in my life really. My senior year at ASU I had to volunteer to complete my BS in criminal justice, I chose the child crisis center. My shifts were supposed to be 2 hours, play with kids, hold some babies and I was done………my mind never stopped though. I would show up on days I finished school early, I would last 5 hours instead of 2. There was a young boy named Juan who was 3, and violent, yelling at the staff, crying in rage…….. I asked if anyone spoke to him in his own language? They looked stunned. I bought Spanish flashcards and sat on the floor with this angel of a boy who heard me say Spanish words horribly, he was peaceful….. One night I rocked this new baby boy who was so loving. He would finally fall asleep and I would try to lay him down and he jolted violently. This went on for 6 hours straight till 11pm. Finally I left in tears, no one could console him……… his core was damaged.
Fast forward 3 years and I was teaching High school business in a very wealthy, very white school…….. It was polar opposite of the true mix of people I enjoyed seeing at my own high school…….. One day I got 2 new transfer kids, not related, but in my Entrepreneurship classes, they were African American girls…… To say they blended in would be false. I was hoping they would feel welcomed by everyone. I followed them a bit closer to ensure they did. One girl confided in me she had to move around a lot because of her violent father…….so I had to start a CPS report. The other lovely girl was distant, didn’t make eye contact, didn’t see the point in school…….Didn’t have a base. The last week of school I had a meeting with her mom and this blonde hair, white, woman walked in……She told me her daughter was her “foster daughter of 13 years” but she never adopted her………My heart sank, no base indeed, this girl was going to be homeless shortly and age out of CPS. Her mom said to me, “just so you know, you are good with her, she only comes to school for your class, you could be a foster parent”.
I went home and talked to my husband…….. I was an egg donor to an infertile couple in college, so my fertility was solid, and so was his……… but how could I bring another child into a world where thousands wait for a home….. Is my DNA really that great? I mean seriously……
My husband is awesome, he deals with my type A personality and the kids love him….. Even better when he says “that’s MY wife you are talking to” when they get out of line…….They will have a healthy marriage, they see one.
After a 30 month roller coaster we pulled into our final stop today, adopted our kids. I looked around in court today and saw my kids fighting over their cars, who they wanted to sit with, and just being kids. It didn’t phase them, we ARE their mom and dad…….. They were more bothered by having to sit still…..this is how it should be……… some say it altruism what we do (did), its not, im selfish….. it fulfilled something in me that I couldn't do by being pregnant.
My 8 year old Beth asked me what “adoption” means. I told her it means out of all the little girls in the whole wide world her mommy and daddy only wanted her. We got to hand pick our girl.
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